What Children Need to Know:1). They are not responsible in any way for their parent’s relationship ending.2) They are loved by both parents (if this is true). 3)They will be able to see both parents regularly (if this is true). 4) Where they will live. 5) With whom they will live. 6) Who will take care of them. 7) What their parenting schedule will be between the two homes. 
That both parents will take care of their needs. 9) Any other changes that will affect their lives
What Children Do Not Need to Know: 1)Intimate or personal details about their parents’ relationship. 2) Negative impressions one parent has about the other How To Talk to Children About Separation: 1) Talk with them as early as possible, preferably before anyone moves. 2) If possible, talk with them together as a couple. 3) Reassure them regularly with love. 4) Offer opportunities for them to ask questions and answer them truthfully 5) Encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings and let them you know that their feelings make sense considering what is happening to them. 6) Do not pretend the changes will be easy or painless. Research Suggests Children Experience Fewer Adjustment Difficulties When: 1) Conflict between parents is low. 2) Financial difficulties are not overwhelming. 3) Both parents remain actively involved in their children’s lives. 4) There is strong agreement between parents about child rearing standards. 5) Communication lines between parents remain open. 6) Parents adapt to their new roles. 7) Parents & children have support from friends and others outside of the family
Talking With Children About Divorce March 3, 2009
Counseling Stimulus? March 2, 2009
Calls to therapy practices are increasing daily as layoffs and anticipation of layoffs rise. The economic climate creates a storm of depression and anxiety. Suddenly more men are seeking counseling services as the very soul of these men are threatened by job loss. Single mothers, too, feel the strain and are seeking therapy. Yet, loss of healthcare coverage and limited incomes prevent people from accessing the very service they need. As a private mental health practice owner and therapist, I struggle with how to improve access to counseling services to those in need while maintaining the economic stability of my business.
In less stressful economic times, the stigma of receiving counseling services prevents many from benefitting from the alleviation of symptoms that interfere in daily functioning. We “strong,” Americans maintain the adages “Buck up” “Keep a stiff upper lip” “Let sleeping dogs lie” “Leave well enough alone.” This value system puts time limitations on grief and every other type of loss and adjustment. We American are generally uncomfortable with emotional displays and certainly those that last too long. Some may come to counseling for one session in desperation but fail to maintain the treatment to avoid feeling that they are “crazy” or “need help.”
As healthcare practitioners, or as friends or family members, how can we de-stigmatize therapy so that those who need help will access it? How can we encourage those who need help to make it worth the extra cash or worth the time off work to improve their quality of life? How can we send a loud, clear message that asking for help is a sign of strength? Consequently, how can we then make mental health counseling truly within reach for all Americans?
By Allison Crotty, MSW, LCSW
3/1/09
Why Play Therapy for Counseling Children? March 1, 2009
What is Play Therapy?
Play Therapy enables children to use play in much the same way that adults use words in counseling. Talking is an adult’s natural way of communicating; play is a child’s natural way of communicating. The Play Therapist provides a safe and understanding environment with a variety of special toys for the child to communicate what they cannot say in words. Children may use puppets, dolls, paints, and other toys to express how they feel and what they think. When children are able to express their experiences and emotions, they are able to release the fear, anger, sadness, or frustration that influences their behaviors. Through Play Therapy, children are helped to choose more mature and adaptive ways of handling external and internal stress, thereby developing more appropriate behaviors and improved self-confidence.
How Do I Know If My Child Needs Play Therapy?
Many children experience some type of difficulty during their formative years (at home, at school, with other children, etc.) or they behave in ways that concern their parents or teachers. Some children need more help than others to overcome these difficulties. In general, if you and/or your child’s teacher or pediatrician are concerned about your child’s adjustment or behavior, Play Therapy is the most developmentally appropriate way to help your child.
What Should I Tell My Child About Play Therapy
You may tell your child, “You are going to be with Theresa in a special play room. There will be many toys there that you may choose to play with.” If your child wants to know why he/she is going to the play room, you may say, “When things are difficult for you at school (or home, etc.), it helps to have a special time and place to play.”
Theresa Miller, LPC, NCC, RPT
Cornerstone Counseling of Charlotte, PC
3/1/09
